I am writing as a parent of a transgender child who lives in Arlington. Our daughter was assigned male at birth and let us know beginning at age 2 that she was not a boy. We spent the next three years watching her growth and development while conferring with medical and mental health professionals. When she was five, we all agreed that we should let her socially transition to living full time as a girl. She was so excited and happy when her kindergarten classmates knew her as a girl, when her teachers called her by her chosen feminine name, and when she was allowed to join her girl scout troop and her girls recreational soccer team. We kept meeting with medical and mental health professionals and eventually changed her legal name and gender and corrected all her legal documents to reflect her chosen name. She is generally happy at school and in our community and has a great group of friends. She is busy with school, Girl Scouts, soccer, and other activities typical of girls her age.
She would be harmed if the proposed 2022 Model Policies went into effect. Any teacher or employee in our otherwise trans-affirming school district in Arlington could, according to these proposed policies, find her dead name from old school records and decide to call her that name, even though she has not answered to that name in several years. She would likely be subjected to harassment when classmates learned that she is transgender. Students would feel free to challenge her every time she uses the girls bathroom. Frankly, I can’t even imagine how awful she would feel because no one has treated her as a boy for her entire school career. I believe that her anxiety over being misgendered by teachers would make it impossible for her to feel safe enough in school to learn. We would likely have to remove her from school and either homeschool her or find the money for an affirming private school - money that we don’t have.
These proposed 2022 model policies purport to provide “privacy, dignity, and respect for all students and parents” do not do what they say. The proposed policies expressly reject my parental right to raise my daughter in a state that provides protections for her. They reject my parental right to raise my daughter in a state that encourages schools to affirm her gender identity.
These proposed model policies violate my First Amendment rights by imposing the religious beliefs of a minority - who believe that gender identity is an ideology that they can reject - on my personal religious belief system that incorporates gender identity as part of accepting a person as they are and as who they profess themselves to be. The proposed model policies violate my daughter’s First Amendment right not to have another group’s religious beliefs imposed on her life.
Furthermore, I am opposed to these proposed model policies on behalf of other transgender and nonbinary students in Virginia. Many transgender students do not have the support of their parents and fear abuse if their parents learn that they are transgender. The proposed model policies would actively harm these students and leave many with no safe space and no safe adults.
Please don’t take this step backward in Virginia. Follow the Virginia Human Rights Act that provides protection against discrimination based on gender identity. Reject these proposed 2022 model policies that would make school a frightening and unsafe place for my daughter and for other transgender and nonbinary students.