I’m writing as the father of a disabled daughter and as someone who sees firsthand how important it is for my wife to be able to provide her care.

My job requires me to work in Maryland and Pennsylvania. When I’m working in Pennsylvania, I can be gone for a month at a time. During those times, my wife is the one handling everything our daughter needs on a daily basis.

Our daughter needs care before and after school, but her schedule doesn’t stop there. She has physical therapy every Tuesday at 2:00 p.m., about 40 minutes from our home, and occupational therapy every Thursday at 8:00 a.m., also about 40 minutes away. There are also IEP meetings, teacher meetings, school conferences, and other appointments throughout the year that my wife needs to attend to make sure our daughter is getting the support she needs.

We have tried to find caregivers who can work around these types of hours, and it is extremely difficult. This isn’t a normal Monday-Friday schedule where we can simply hire someone for a set block of time.

There is also the reality of transportation. An outside caregiver would potentially have to drive our disabled daughter 40 minutes each way to appointments. As her father, especially when I’m working several hours away from home, I’m not comfortable having to depend on someone we may barely know to transport her simply because a parent is no longer allowed or able to provide that care.

There are also things a caregiver just cannot replace. They can’t take my wife’s place at an IEP meeting, make decisions about our daughter’s education, advocate for her with teachers, or have the same understanding of all the pieces of her care.

When I’m away for work, I know our daughter is with someone who knows her better than anyone, understands her needs, can get her where she needs to be, and can advocate for her when necessary. That matters tremendously to me.

I understand the need for rules and oversight, but I hope DMAS understands that families like ours aren’t using a parent caregiver because it’s easier than hiring someone else. For us, finding someone who can realistically meet our daughter’s schedule and needs has proven nearly impossible.

Taking away or making it harder for parents to provide paid care doesn’t magically create qualified caregivers who are available before school, after school, early in the morning, in the middle of the afternoon, and willing to transport a disabled child long distances.

Please consider what these changes would actually look like for families like ours. My wife providing our daughter’s care gives our daughter consistency and safety, and it allows me to continue working and supporting our family even when my job requires me to be away from home.

For us, parent-provided care isn’t about convenience. It’s what works because of the reality of our daughter’s needs and our family’s life.