I knew that I was a lesbian since I was 14. However, being raised in a southern, conservative, Christian household, I knew that I had to keep this very large secret as close to me as possible, at least until I was older.
I did my best in school, got into a good college, and pursued a very highly-regarded professional career path. I loved what I studied, held various leadership roles around campus, and helped to tutor students younger than me.
Outside of this horrible angst surrounding my sexual orientation and gender expression (as a bit of tomboy), I was generally someone you'd want to have your community, and was someone who contributed a lot to our greater society with through my professional work.
When I was 21 and still in college, I was accidentally outed to my entire academic department and to my family. My family disowned me, and I spent my final portion of undergrad sleeping and crying on friend's sofas, and working nearly full-time while attending school. In school I was socially ostracized, and sexually harassed my other students and one much older professor.
Because I was still under 24, and my parents wanted to punish me for being queer, they refused to fill out the FAFSA- meaning that I had no access to student loans in any capacity. I had to rely entirely on merit-based scholarship money, any money that I made, and honestly just a lot of charity through folks at my college. The impact of my parent's financial abuse was horrible. They genuinely did their best to stunt me in every aspect- because they did not want to see a successful, healthy adult daughter, who also happened to be queer. It was entirely mean-spirited and vengeful.
During this time in my life, my mental health struggled immensely. I was working between 60-80 hours a week between work and schoolwork, and without being able to afford therapy, turned to alcohol to cope. I didn't realize what a problem it would become, and ended up accidentally overdosing at 22, and suffering a stroke. I nearly died.
I'm now in my mid-20s, and have a successful white-collar, professional career. I moved to the West Coast. Virginia is home and I miss it every day, but I just did not feel valued at all within the pre-existing social structures and wider culture. I have long-term sobriety, am completely financially independent, and can afford therapy.
What I went through was so damaging, and so traumatic. It was bad. To me, 21 seems so young- I was truly still a bit of an adolescent then-- literally just a baby. I really shudder to think of what it would have been like had I been younger high school student, with no college education to even begin with, and even less resources.
If this policy is adopted, LGBT youth will die, like how I almost did.
I got extremely lucky, but not everyone will have the luck that I did.
Without a doubt other families will pull the same financial abuse tactics that mine did- refusing to fill out the FAFSA, even after disowning their queer children, to prevent them from ever accessing a college education.
And the chilling truth too- is that a lot of Virginia families, just like mine, would much rather have a dead daughter, than a daughter who is a dyke.