Virginia Regulatory Town Hall
Department of Social Services
State Board of Social Services
Minimum Standards for Licensed Private Child-Placing Agencies [22 VAC 40 ‑ 131]
Action Adopt new standards for licensed private child-placing agencies.
Stage Proposed
Comment Period Ended on 4/1/2011
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4/1/11  8:11 pm
Commenter: John D

A Recovering Sex Addict's Opinion

I am a recovering Sex Addict and have 14 years of recovery under my belt.  The APA would say there is no such thing because they don't see a "chemical" being ingested.  They could not be more wrong.  For most sex addicts the drug enters through the eyes by light reflecting off of an image of some sort.  The light enters the eye and undergoes a series of chemical reactions before it impacts the receptor cells at the rear of the eye.  Those receptor cells send an electro-chemical signal to the brain where various cells release very powerful chemicals that cascade from, through, and among the cells of the brain producing feelings of euphoria.  Psychiatrists recognize this chemical component of the sexual compulsive even if the Psychologists wish to deny its existence.  

With any addiction the addict develops a tolerance to the chemical (alcohol, heroin, endorphins, etc.), then they need more and more of the chemical to get the positive feelings.  With sex addiction, it starts with images, but at a certain point the images are not enough to elicit the euphoric feelings.  That is when the sex addict becomes dangerous to those around him.  Because he is driven to obtain the euphoric feelings outside the context nature provided he loses control over his actions and crosses more and more boundaries of appropriate behavior.

This is true for the voyeur, the compulsive masterbator, the serial adulterer, the same sex attracted, the sexually repressed, etc.  They have all chosen to respond to their leglitmate need for physical affection and sexual expression by seeking to obtain the euphoric feelings natural to those legitimate physical and sexual needs by short circuiting the process that every mature person experiences through sex in marriage.

The question is why did they short circuit the process?  In my 14 years of going to meetings 5 days a week with several hundred other recovering sex addicts, having been a patient of the foremost medical authorities on sexual addiction/compulsivity for several years.  The answer is fear.

Something,or somethings, happened to each person I have met in recovery that frightened them so much they turned away from the path of maturation and used an artificial means to attain the natural affect.  Most turned away around the time they naturally discovered the awesome power of sexual feelings.  And then by repeatedly seeking the short circuit path to sexual satisfaction that allowed them to avoid the normal fears and anxieties of maturing as a healthy human being, they built up an entire mode of thinking and belief to support their continuing in an unnatural mode of behavior.  

The cure?  Recognizing the true motivation of all their actions and by participating with fellow sufferers in a fellowship of mutual understanding and respect - where they are not judged by what they have done, and trying with very small steps to change how they recieve the sexual satisfaction and physical affection they need and deserve.  

But instead, now they, who have not come to grips with their fears and put away their unhealthy and self-destructive behaviors, are forcing the rest of society to accept their disordered behavior and allow them the opportunity to promote their disordered behavior to defenseless and wounded children.  Any politician or government official who allows this by letting a sex addict like me adopt or provide foster care for a child without appropriate supervision is guilty of child meglect which will lead to child abuse.  

We all recognize that alcoholics must refrain from drinking alcohol - herion addicts must be clean and sober from heroin - crack addicts free from cocaine.  Will all same sex attracted persons directly abuse a minor given into their care? No.  Just as most drunk drivers do not get into fatal car accidents - but we even penalize the bartender who serves alcohol to an obviously drunk person who then gets in a car and kills.  Why are the emotional lives of defenseless children no less important to be protected.

I realize you politicians just want to get campaign donations, and since same sex couples don't have any dependents they have a lot of money to throw your way, but that is no reason to allow more children to be turned into future sex addicts.

I hate having this problem - the desire to peep in windows and see people engaged in sexual intimacy.  I would not wish it on my worst enemy!!!  Same sex attracted persons don't like being they way they are either - evidenced by the huge number of suicides among that population.  By condoning addictive sexual behavior and allowing those so addicted to pass on the approval of disordered behavior to defenseless children the government is aiding and abeding in producing more people with my disorder.  

This is not a religion based opposition to changing the discrimination provision to allow those with disordered sexual orientations to adopt - I am a victim of this addiction and don't want more people to suffer from it.  Please regulate the very important societal function of providing for orphaned or abused children in a way that does not produce more hurt people hurting people...

Sexual satisfaction is good, mature sexual satisfaction is the best.  

In Recovery,

John D.

CommentID: 17111